Well, I'm still feeling bad, but I'm doing better than I have been the last two days. I've pulled myself together and will shortly be on my way to my parents' house. Every year my family gets together to eat, play cards or board games, and watch the ball fall in Times Square on TV. Even after I turned 21, I preferred this tradition. After all, these are the good people who get me through every year without completely losing it. I just assume be with them rather than at some bar... well... losing it.
Not that I'm totally against losing it. Some of us could use one night of unbridled debauchery so that the hangover in the New Year refreshes our resolve to take better care of ourselves. I've had those New Year's Eves, too... I just like the ones with my family better. I like thinking that my year was not so bad that I need a night that I can easily erase. I like knowing that my family is a safe group of people with whom I can relax and be myself as I embark on a new beginning.
I love new beginnings. It's just an arbitrary date on a calendar, yes, but we give it meaning by calling it the first day of another 365 day cycle. A chance to start over. A pause in our "normal" lives that asks us to step back, slow down, take inventory, and make decisions to improve our lives. I'll write about some of my own decisions, or "resolutions," tomorrow, the first day of 2010.
Wherever you are all headed tonight, please, drive safely and be kind to yourself. Whatever has happened to you lately, you've got a chance to try again.
Try again.
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