Saturday Speaks: The sound of her voice

Of course you already know that the best sound I heard this week was my cat's meow upon returning from my holiday travels...

...but, the other highlight of the week would be a certain grandmother in Joyce's family. I sat there the day after Thanksgiving and listened to her... and people kept telling me what a nice thing I did in letting her talk. Not to be totally corny, but she did me a favor. I haven't had a talk with a grandmother at a big family dinner since before my own passed away. I could feel that sort of comfort and familiarity with Grandma Fanny... it made me miss my own grandmother so terribly, but it also, in a way, brought her back to me.

Friday Sabbath: Remember others

Okay, you've had a warm, full day of good company and great food. Now, please, click on the links below and help to give to others who have much, much less than you:

Hunger Site: Donate for Free

Free Rice: Feed the Hungry by Playing the Game

Thursday Kitchen: Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

(from http://img.timeinc.net)

Wednesday Valuables: Last minute dash

As I put my last few things together before I have to rise around 3:30AM tomorrow morning, I'm just going to take this time to thank the many people who visited with me, talked with me, invited me to gatherings, and for my gal pals who helped me with my silly cigar box project. Thanks also to all of you who have tried comforting me the last few days as I prepare to leave my mother and my precious cat for Thanksgiving. (Thanks also to those of you who tried calming me down about the spiders... it helps.)

I wish you all safe travels and great food tomorrow. Those of you stuck somewhere on your own, unable to venture out to your families in other places, I will definitely be thinking of you.

Tuesday Favorites: Scrubbing Day

Since we're going out of town this weekend, we've been cleaning the apartment. We've been at it since we woke up and will have a few last items to address before going to sleep. Then, tomorrow, there will still be plenty to do.

I wouldn't want to do this every week, but I sort of like devoting one whole day to gutting out my living space. There's a satisfaction in tossing out things that are no longer relevant. There seems to be cleaner air filtering through my lungs. There's also this "I'm a big kid now" sort of pride in a neat and tidy home.

The magazines were a good feeling. They all have a place now rather than in little piles here and there. I recycled quite a number of them, too, which frees up space for things I wish to be more accessible.

I'm reading about... I don't know... 10 books at a time. Each book has been removed from this little table I had by the couch and placed on the appropriate shelves. What was really exciting for me was the necessity for a new shelving category(Look, all I did was clean today, so, this was an event). I arrange my books in approximate genre groupings (Well, I know Beth understands me). I found that I needed a revision within my non-fiction section. I have more books on food than I used to (ethical eating, local food, etc) as well as memoirs. I just take great joy in watching my library grow.

And my desk! My lovely desk! You can actually see it now! I only have a few items on it - this computer, my letter holder, a lamp, my books on Okinawa, my box ( Don't ask... it's a me and Stacy thing), the pictures of my grandmother, Luke, and Minerva, two cards, and my flamingo (It's all about the Alice in my life). It's an open workspace again. The piles around my desk have also been sorted... the envelopes I make, the stories from class I had to read, pictures from various ceremonies, recipes clipped out from magazines, cds, etc. It's good to have the clutter sorted out now.

While running around in the dust, piles of paper, and doing some vacuuming, I had the TV on. I just liked the noise. Something to occupy my brain as I worked. I went through Season 4 of Frasier and my favorite version of Alice in Wonderland. It might have been a nice day for a marathon... like all the Lord of the Rings films or lots of Mystery Science Theater 3000. But, I have Frasier memorized (it's sad, but true), so it was easy to tune it in and out accordingly to when I needed to concentrate (finding space that didn't exist) and when I needed a break. I prefer this method of watching a lot of pointless TV to being sick and just sitting in front of the tube... it was a great change from last week.

We did lots of laundry and we're trying to make the place pleasant for the kind souls coming to watch my cat. There are a few more corners I want to vacuum tomorrow... David found a scary spider in the sink last night (likely a male Black Widow... and though they aren't harmful like the females, that's still kind of spooky). I really freaked myself out. I stayed up later than I meant to (our flight leaves at 5:45AM Thursday morning, so, I was going to train my body to sleep earlier... yeah... not happening) so I could research online topics on spiders and cats. While all evidence points to a needlessness in the worry, I'm borderline terrified. I already found two other harmless spiders today between walls and furniture. I'm glad they eat yucky insects and all that, but I want to feel secure about leaving my cat alone...

...I'm getting there... I think. I'm still going to be a big baby and cry a little as I fly away...

But, now I'm rambling.

I should put a few more things away. I keep trying to tell myself that I'll be happy when I see the final product. However, that moment never feels close by until it's here.

I feel for all the families frantically cleaning tonight and perhaps all day tomorrow in preparation for Thanksgiving. My good friend will be hosting Thanksgiving for her family at her place this week... I know how busy she is, so I'm dazzled by her madness and her courage.

I'm also thinking about people like my mother... who basically made a miniature Thanksgiving just for me, all by herself, this past weekend... and now she's got to do this all over again Thursday. My aunts generally take turns hosting the holidays since we no longer have my grandmother as Queen Hostess. My mom and I are very similar... we stress out about throwing dinner parties. We don't find it fun. We don't think it's enjoyable. We like being with our family and friends, but we drain ourselves with the worry of every little detail. I admire people who enjoy this sort of thing... I love you people who enjoy this sort of thing... because it delays the day I have to cook a family Thanksgiving more and more...

So, thanks to the hostesses who make my Scrubbing Day limited to preparing a nice place for people to sleep. I had good day... because only two people, other than me, will care how this place looks this week.

Good luck to all of you on your on Scrubbing Day tasks!

Monday Review: A Christmas Carol

(from http://fusedfilm.com)

What made me want to see this one was Jim Carrey. I'll admit it. I think he's a genius, a freak of nature. I know most of the time he's overacting, but I think he's more versatile than that. I believe it takes someone willing to be as outrageous as he is to have such a range...

...and he was actually a great Scrooge.

We all know Dickens' story about a miserly sinner who changes his ways after seeing the big picture of his life... brought to him by three ghosts. My current favorite movie version of this story is the Muppet's Christmas Carol. They stay very close to the book, aside from the Gonzo and Rizzo adlibs and Michael Caine makes a wonderful Scrooge. Dickens wrote a timeless enough text that I think most filmmakers choose to use much of his writing for the dialogue (though I am also a fan of Scrooged starring Bill Murray which is really a modern reinvention of the original story). I am somewhat sad to say that these two version remain my favorites...

Zemeckis came so close... so close. The first hour of the movie is pretty good... but the last bits... oy... Just because you can do something with our new technologies and animation does not mean that you should.

So, I'll just point out the highlights since you already know the story... we'll venture through this review a little differently this week...

I really liked the casting. Jim Carrey plays the part of Scrooge as well as all the ghosts. I appreciate this idea since each ghost is really the past, present, and future of Scrooge himself. I guess since Carrey is worth about $20,000,000 per movie, Zemeckis decided he was going to really earn it. Gary Oldman also plays more than one role: he is the voice of Bob Cratchit, Tiny Tim, and Bob Marley. Cary Elwes also has several speaking roles. Aside from the fun of the listening to what each actor can do, I'd say it's just efficient budgeting and probably entertaining for the performers as well. All the talent was excellent.

I really disliked the departure of The Ghost of Christmas Present. We're familiar with the idea of this ghost getting aging as he and Scrooge venture into other the dinning rooms of other people. His life only lasts for one day. But they destrory him in this film. His death is long and disturbing and his laughing bones eventually disintegrate into dust and blow away. Maybe the filmmakers wanted to drive home this "ugly truth" that once today is over, it's over, and your chances to make it better are gone. But, this was awfully dramatic and inconsistent with the tone of the movie before that point.

I really liked the animation. They got the awkwardness of The Polar Express under control. The humans of Polar Express were so very real looking, but their movements were strange and not very human. I have never been able to sit through the whole film because the weirdness of the movement distracts me, bothers me. The movement in this film is stunning. In the opening scene, they made an interesting choice to show you Scrooge standing by the open coffin of a particularly not handsome and very dead Jacob Marley. His hands shake not only with cold and age but with reluctance to part with his money. It's very well done. You do see throughout this movie the ocassional strain of weird movement, but, overall, they got it under control.

I really disliked this feeling of Scrooge's Big Adventure. There's a lot of fast flying and whatnot, and that's alright, but towards the end, you watch this completely pointless chase scene. It serves no purpose. It's not like that's how the ghost leads Scrooge from scene to scene of his potential fate. I could understand a minute or two of it... I like the symbolism of the future catching up with you... but this scene went on far too long. I was starting to get bored. There are also a couple of scenes populated with ghosts or street urchins that are a little... remember that Disney amusement park ride that's a Haunted Mansion? It was corny like that at moments.

I really like Marley. He was wonderfully dead and kind of gross. And though he's grotesque, I think they diffuse the scariness with a jaw that snaps out of joint and threatens to fall off. He looks and sounds great. I can't say much more than that. One of my favorite Christmas Carol stories is actualy MARLEY'S CHRISTMAS CAROL by Tom Mula... so, Marley's a significant charcter for me. I appreciate that they reinvented him and did him justice in this new film.

I really, really dislike the very end of the movie. I would have let go of the other things I didn't like if they hadn't completely ruined the concluding scene. They break the frame of Cratchit's character to narrate the last part of the story. He left Scrooge's office in character, and then he turns to the camera and says how Scrooge "was better than his word and, to Tiny Tim, like a second father." Call it a hang up, but I think it was a poor directing and writing choice. It destroys the illusion. I wanted to choke up and shed a tear or two, it's a great story after all, but I just couldn't. I was so disappointed. Were it not for that moment, I would have recommended this movie anyway.

I guess I'm not specifically saying you shouldn't go see it... that first hour really is impressive. I just think they missed the mark when they were on the right track.There are many good things to look forward to seeing, but it falls short of what it could have been. It would be like your favorite TV show killing your favorite character and ending the series right in the middle of the season...

Sunday Reflections: Frailty of memory

It was an invasive sort of cold wind today. The white-gray of the sheet of sky was the same color as the bones rattling beneath my skin. While being at work helps with the chill, I become mechanical when dealing with such low temperatures. Pacing. Rubbing my hands together. Hopping. Sitting on my hands and swaying. Concentrating really hard on anything else...

...my thoughts turned to a certain person in my life before I was 16. I am terrified by how difficult it is to remember things about my grandmother. Most of my memories now are reinforced by photographs, stories, and home videos. I am having trouble remembering anything other than the memorial service... the days around my grandmother's death are clearer than the days when she was alive.

I vaguely remember this shopping trip on which she took me when I was about 15. She was the only person who would buy me the most ridiculous things just because I liked them... not because they looked any good. Of course, she would have been one to talk! She would put some of the most blindingly clashing items of clothes together and call it a day. I remember her red sweater... the one I still have... which she wore over just about everything... including a patterned white shirt with pink and purple flowers on it...

Anyway, she bought me this little pale blue dress, crazy blue stockings, and white fishnets... I wanted something fun to wear to Busch Gardens with a very particular friend of mine. I guess you could have called us the Oddball Goth Sisters, but my friend pulled it off much better than I did. My grandmother didn't bat an eyelash at me when I picked out the clothes. She just wanted to see me like something that she bought for me.

She also liked to see the things she gave me. She would notice the very next time she saw me after she had given me a present if I was not wearing it. One time she looked me over the day or two after a family celebration and said suddenly, "You don't like the ring I gave you for your birthday?" I was very confused. Must have been a pre-teen at the time. "No. I do like it. I'm just not wearing it today." She went on and on about how it was okay if I didn't... I think. All I know is I made a point to wear the stuff she gave me whenever I was going to visit her ever after.

I remember her clearest in her kitchen. For some reason, when I try to conjure a pure memory rather than one supported by photos, I see her smoking in her kitchen. The room is dark. It's night time or very, very early morning. She's drinking coffee out of that ugly, worn McDonald's mug. Her face is hidden because she is lit from behind by this garish florescent light that lined the underneath board of the cabinets. You could see her weird, fruit covered wallpaper dance in the bright light behind the hanging ceramic pineapple. I feel in this memory as though I have caught her in the midst of a sad thought before she lifts her head, realizes I'm there, and then immediately snaps into that Super Hero mode that only grandmothers pull off.

I know I liked going to her house. Even if I came out smelling like smoke (which I hated), I still liked going to see her. I don't recall ever complaining or having the feeling that I didn't want to be there. I think I had two or three sleepover parties in her den downstairs... me and some other girls were enveloped in this great, puke-yellow, circular, wrap-around sofa from the late 60s or early 70s. I think I had a birthday party there as well... I think. It's all so fuzzy...

I remember, when we were in a lit kitchen one day, that she had a miniature fit and told me to be better to my mother... I find myself telling my gdchild the same thing... she's only two, but I have to say it. I hear myself saying a small handful of the things my grandmother used to say... like the way she sang her greetings rather than flat out speaking. There was a lilt in her tone, always. I make some of the noises she invented (like this weird shushing sound through her teeth if you coughed). The way "Hi" was always a double word for her... something from her past as well as her new American language.

This woman half-raised me. The only person I spent more time with than her was my mother. I fear the frailty of my memories. How am I going to write about this wonderful person when the only thing that is clear to me anymore is the utter adoration, love, and awe I had for her... the rest of the details are dark...

...and that just reminds me how cold it is again.

(PS: Referring to last Sunday's entry: I was slightly off on my estimation from last Sunday. On my list of 20 things that I wanted to do this week, I have completed, as of this afternoon, 12 items from that list. That's not too bad for a week I mostly spent feeling ill.)