Those of you who follow this blog already know that I made the decision to become a vegetarian in January of this year (see relevant posts 1 and 2). It's not that I was suddenly made aware of the horrific, inhumane, and torturous conditions of the factory farms... it's not that I did not already know thoughtful vegetarians who talked to me about their thoughts on eating... I just had this intense, emotional reaction to a film trailer (Disney's Oceans, which I reviewed here) that reminded me of the simple fact that animals live.This takes me back to the first time I "became vegetarian..."
I am technically the first vegetarian I ever met. I had a conversation with a spunky, red haired girl in 4th or 5th grade (I was 10 years old) in the school cafeteria. I don't know for certain whether or not this girl was a vegetarian herself... I can't recall at all what was said either. What I do remember is this intense realization, this emotional horror that made me want to stop eating meat. I know it had nothing to do with factory farming... I just put two and two together. Animals walk and talk to each other like you and me, the humans. That was it.
The reason my vegetarianism did not last, at the risk of making it sound like I'm blaming my parents, is I had no support in learning about what I needed to eat in order to stay healthy. In my parents' defense, they had just had twin babies at the time and had little reserves for teaching their somewhat wild and precocious girl about being a healthy vegetarian. Also, in their defense, I have an understanding of their background, their paradigm, of trusting the USDA and what comes to the grocery store... of everything in our human history that makes eating meat highly "normal" and even "essential to good health." My declaration of vegetarianism came out of nowhere for them. I'm sure that they've asked most of their life where in the hell I came from...
I still didn't eat red meat even after my doctor threatened me with an IV. I was just never a fan. It had the most overwhelming taste of... well, blood, I guess, to me. My birth father, when I was still expected to visit him on the weekends after his divorce from my mother, would take me and my half-siblings through fast food restaurants all the time. He did not ask for our opinion. He did not ask for our preferences, which, at the time, I guess I would have chosen chicken or fish (Was that a "golden arch" option in the 80s? I can't remember anymore...). He always passed back from his driver's seat hamburger meals. I, like my father, did not think to ask for anything different, so, I would only eat the French fries and the top part of the bun- you know, where the tiny diced onions are stuck with mustard or ketchup (speaking of which, I've always disliked ketchup, but, I preferred it to the beef).
My point is I spent 13 years of my life not touching beef. That's not a grand accomplishment, but, I was already accustomed to "not eating like everyone else." I guess that's why I never bothered feeling daunted or insulted when I would meet the occasional vegetarian or vegan. Instead, I was usually proud. I don't know how I derived this from my experience, but I think I guessed I was too busy, maybe even volunteering that I was too lazy, to be a full vegetarian or vegan. It wasn't that I didn't admire or understand the many, many reasons people have for disposing of meat or animal by-products from their lifestyles... I just didn't think I was "smart enough" to make it work.
But, as I've mentioned, I was too moved this past year to ignore this old sense within me that there's something about eating meat that would no longer work for me. The transition has not been hard for me, and my friends and loved ones have been, largely, supportive. My mother has been more experimental with her cooking and always prepares something meatless for me when I visit. One of my aunts always has something to offer me (makes a lot of roasted veggies) whenever I stop by for anything... even if I'm just picking up a book or dropping something off. I've been very, very lucky, though, vegetarianism, in my small circle at least, is not as taboo or alternative as it used to be. People are learning more about factory farming, sustainable living, global warming, carcinogens, etc... there are more of us than you might think!
But, I have not been completely liberated from the veil over animal products. The more I learn now about what happens to dairy cows, layer hens, and numerous traces of animals in candy, cake mixes, cheese, wines, etc, I'm beginning to lean towards learning to become vegan before the year is out.
A lot of my information and incentives come from Colleen Patrick-Goudreau, a vegan writer and cook with a great free podcast available through i-Tunes or through Miss C's website (Visit http://www.compassionatecooks.com/). I have definitely been moved by her passion and extensive research in her podcasts and cookbooks. I recently purchased THE VEGAN TABLE and devoured the amazing recipes and information she makes accessible to her readers. She works very hard to reinvent the feeling we want from our food without condoning cruelty and exploitation of animals.
All I can say about most of this is that it's my experience. I have just found so much renewed joy in my life due to the convergence of several topics. I have found more peace in my sense of spirituality (landing somewhere in the realm of Shinto Buddhism) as I have discovered the peace that can come with veganism. I just want to share how I feel without agenda...
I feel more awake. I feel more like me. I feel more. I'm not the most openly emotional person I know, but I find myself choking back tears when I think about what happened to the dairy cows who provided the milk in my fridge, the curds for my cheese, or what happened to their sons. Dairy cows are not like wet nurses. They have to stay pregnant, similar to people, in order to produce milk. They carry a baby for 9 months, similar to us. But, unlike us, unless we choose adoption or surrogates (two other forms of compassion), their sons are taken from them shortly after birth and slaughtered for veal. I know our culture sees a cow as food... but all I can see now are mothers and sons, slaves, abuse, and the murder of babies.
It haunts me, these voiceless creatures who fight for their lives but are subject to the dominion of humans. However, and this is common knowledge to those who are allergic to dairy products (which is more natural than the word "allergy" lends to this phenomenon), dairy products are hidden in so many other foods. People who cannot digest dairy also have to learn new vocabulary such as "whey," "casein," "curds," etc, and become expert label readers. Animal pieces are in candies (for example gelatin, made from boiling the hooves and bones of slaughtered animals), some wines are filtered with animal bladders, and several other things contain animals parts that do not strike us as "animal products." It's a challenge to be aware of all the hidden places for which tortured animals were stripped of their innards and remains.
So, it helps to get around someone or someplace that can do this for you, to get you used to the idea. I went to a wedding this past weekend in DC. Aside from the fact that I had a good time dancing and celebrating with some of David's friends (who lovingly provided me and a few others with a vegetarian meal during the reception), I took advantage of our location and asked David to humor me and go to the Sticky Fingers Bakery for brunch yesterday.
(from thevoraciousvegan.com)
I wanted to go somewhere that would serve only things that I knew I was willing to eat. I wanted to see what the vegan brunch would look like. I have been eating eggs all this time before learning about how layers are treated (even your "free range" eggs come from chickens kept in cramped cages, whose beaks are cut off with no anesthetic, and are generally sick from living in their own filth). I have even chosen restaurants based on egg dishes that I like. I'll admit, I've been having trouble imaging how to eat and live without eggs, something I had previously thought to be an innocent byproduct.
Also, what about coffee? I was a well-trained barista for four years and I know that soy milk is just not the same. It doesn't taste, set, or steam the same as cow's milk. I took all these questions to DC's Sticky Fingers bakery, voted Best Bakery and Best Vegan Restaurant this year.
Just look at this:
This was the latte brought out to me... I, in my experience, was never able to get soy milk to do this, but, here it is. Right in front of me. With a pinch of agave, it was pure, liquid, bliss. I grinned ear to ear (I'm not the smiling type either) the rest of the morning for this little discovery all on its own. An excellent soy latte.Here was my breakfast platter:
What you're looking at is home fries, blueberry sauce for the vegan French toast, a slice of cantaloupe, tempeh bacon (So good that I had to get a TLT to-go for a meal later in the day), and tofu scramble (I believe this was tofu cooked with tumeric to create that familiar egg yellow color). This meal was filling and such a delightful parade of flavor, texture, and guilt-free eating. David ordered a breakfast burrito with beans, greens, and tofu scramble of which he kindly, if not somewhat begrudgingly, gave me a bite. I'm not a fan this goofy word, but, I'm going to use it: YUMMY.
So, the verdict is, I'm choosing to learn how to be vegan. I felt so good yesterday and rode this bizarre, hard to grasp wave of joy from morning til night. I am so grateful for the options available to me, that I can change my lifestyle to nourish my body on a purely plant-based diet. I feel love for the people in my life even more deeply because, once I opened my heart to voiceless, helpless beings, my heart opened to everything a little more. Even my hinting at "finding my spirituality" ties into this stance of non-violence and a desire to inspire love between all things that breathe.
I am tempered, however, with the advice of long-time vegans like Miss C. She reminds me that it's just as important to "speak my truth," to live in accordance with my beliefs, as to be patient and understanding towards people who make different choices. I still have a lot to learn, I have many questions. For instance, even if the whole nation "went veg," what would happen to the farm animals? They are not the creatures of the last century. We have bred them to, essentially, get fat fast. I read a story about a factory farm pig being rescued and taken to an animal sanctuary. While he is now free to live out his days in peace, he has a rough time moving around. Since he is living well beyond the average lifespan for his stock, he weighs a troubling amount for his aging, tiny limbs. My question for veganism reaches towards looking at a long term goal.
Also, what about byproducts? Are there any ethical ways of eating eggs (from well treated hens) and cheese (from cows who get to raise their sons... if such blessings exist)? And what's the deal with bees? Won't that honey just dry up in the hive? I'm prepared for some eye-opening responses, but I'm seeking the answers on my own with the intent of learning to cut dairy and all other animal products from my eating habits.
My point is just to express my happiness, my renewed zest for life. All my choices are freshly informed... from what I eat and wear to where I buy furniture or how I reuse household items. I seek to contribute to peace, sustainable energy usage, preservation of natural resources, and being less wasteful to my planet. I feel awakened, at the risk of sounding preachy or evangelical. It's just how I feel. I am not merely existing. I am living.
