Wednesday Valuables: When "He said, She said," is the best part of the day

Today on Gchat:

TvT: Hey, thought you might like to know some of the nice stuff our friend said about you:
from Mary: btw I'm glad I met Geneviève... She's great and always listens to my constant complaining haha. thanks for introducing us.

Me: Thanks for sharing! I know you're busy, so, it's
awfully kind of you. She and I definitely have an understanding.

Exchanges like this don't come every day... and I'm not really referring to the kind things our mutual friend said about me. I mean when we remind each other that we are significant... even if it's not our own words.

Well, it reminds me of a common issue. How often has someone asked you to, "Say, 'Hi,' for me!" and you didn't actually do it. Now, okay, some of that is "Say, 'Hi,' to your Mama for me," when you know good and well that person will call that night and do it herself. But, sometimes, it's your friend sending good wishes to your family, your spouse, your mutual friends. Those are good feelings and kind thoughts that are entrusted to you to pass along.

I bring this up because I am very guilty of leaving good wishes in the dust of my consciousness. Particularly the wishes of my mother. While my mother is kind and giving, she's not the most social bumble bee, so the chances of her seeing any of my friends are slim. However, she is one of my closest friends and hears everything, the good and the bad. And yet, whenever I bring up your birthday, you anniversary, your new job, etc, my mother almost always passes along her greetings and congratulations and care.

So, those of you who are friends, for every major occasion this past year, my mother said, "Hi! Good Luck! Congratulations! and I'm thinking of you!"

Shame on me, I know.

And she's not the only one. That's the one statement for me that goes in one ear and out the other. Unless it's concrete advice or a question, I rarely ever pass along the love of others.

I knew someone, someone who is currently close but far away, who made a point to pass along good feelings. It was a consistent, regular, life philosophy. Anytime someone said something kind about someone else this person knew, this kind soul would pass it along. There are all sorts of wonderful, uplifting things I would not have known had this person not told me... and whether or not that's a crucial piece of information or not, it certainly put sparkle back into any day (and I think that was the mission all along... This was one of those people whose motto reminds me of something storyteller Donald Davis said, "Church is everywhere and every time you do something that makes another person's life a little better.").

So, I'm just as grateful for what our mutual friend told me as much as the fact that Tristan bothered to pass it along. He's at work, doing big lawyer-y chores... but he took time out to send me this thought of friendship. The exchange took barely a minute of his life to deliver, but how many of us fall short of being mindful enough to share that one minute with the people we love? (Of course, some of us don't even take that minute ourselves just to tell people we love that we, ourselves, care, but that's another story buried under the laziness of believing that they should just know.)

Anya has demonstrated this kindness with exemplary style as well. I was sick for a family gathering this past weekend and she was naturally diligent about reassuring me and wishing me well. But, how many of us forget even the next day that chances are good our friend is still sick? How many of us are quick at the initial news and then let the rest of the days that follow go into ignorant bliss? I always feel guilty about not contacting families who have suffered the death of a loved one a month or two after the fact. Yes, life goes on, but we feel that sting for some time after. I know I would have appreciated that understanding in the days following many difficult deaths...

...but, let's not delve into all that saddness. In Anya's case, I was just sick. The next morning, she sent me this text:

we wont come over but i thought you
would like to know that lilia asked to
go to gigi's house this morning.
it was very sweet.

It is very sweet. My gdchild calls me Gigi (Geneviève is undoubtedly difficult for a two year old). Anya didn't have to tell me that... but it made the moments of that sick day a little less heavy. It's one thing to earn the love of your peers... but the love of a child is awe-inspiring and reminds you you're alive. Anya has always been one of the champion's of follow-up and passing along goodness.

So, if you hear a client or the boss say something nice about your co-worker, or a friend listens to a story about your mom and offers compassionate sentiments, take a minute out of your life to tell your co-worker, to call your mother. You never know how long its been since they received a compliment or if it's been a really lousy day. It costs you nothing, save only that one minute, to change the course of someone's day.

Perhaps that's kind of Hallmark-y, but, really, would it hurt to try? If karma holds, that goodness ought to come back to you eventually... and it's a small price to put a spring back in the step of someone who was slipping... and a lot of people start to get that wobbly gait as the weather turns cold, people get sick, holidays loom around the corner with their stress, memories, and loneliness for many...

So, have a heart.

(Speaking of good things, I have had a dear friend from my past contact me recently, reminding me of similar things and demanding I feel less alone. I could not write a friendship entry without mentioning her and the starlight she has shone into another miserable week of feeling sick and having troubles with sleep. She and I have been friends, long-lost sisters, despite the silence and she reminded me of that this week. "Georgia! Georgia, no peace can I find. Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind...")

(And dear Beth! Thank you for giving me something to look forward to this summer no matter where I end up moving!)

(Thank you, too, Stacy, for... well, you know.)