In any autobiographical writing, there's a great deal of sifting, sorting, and choosing among the details. Not all your memories of the entire year could have possibly made it to the book. I'm curious if there's a story that didn't make it, for whatever reason, that perhaps you would have liked to have included in the story?
She didn't actually answer this question the way I was expecting. I thought there would be another disaster that was disrupting the flow of the book that she might share, but instead, while looking straight into my eyes, she gave me something more meaningful...
She brought up the stories about her friends. Interlaced between the kitchen screw ups and victories are details about what was going on with the people in her life. Most specifically, she mentioned the character of Isabel. This woman divorces her good, loving husband to marry this punk rocker guy she met online. Powell spaces out the details of this saga very well throughout the book leading the reader along her path of frustration and confusion. Why would her friend turn her life upside-down like that? Isabel had it all and she threw it away for some cockeyed fantasy...
...and I think this story remained in the book because it mirrors Powell's crazy scheme. Who could really understand why she would kill herself over cooking French cuisine every night after long days at work, sometimes not eating until 10 or 11 at night? Sounds crazy, right? No short cuts- Powell said she would cook every single recipe and that's just what she did. But, The Project offered Powell a whole new life, something that made it better to get up in the morning... which is eventually what we realize Isabel was doing. Powell admitted even that this man is really terrific and one of the best things in Isabel's life (from the book, "They're so happy it's disgusting, just like Isabel predicted they'd be. You can feel free to hate them, too."). Somehow, the woman knew what she was doing, knew what she had to do, and just did it.
However, Powell's answer to my question concerns just this sort of aspect of her writing. She feels she has learned a new protectiveness for her loved ones. Self-deprecation is no big deal... once you become a public figure, people will love or hate you just for how you do your hair. Talking about people you don't like so much is pretty easy to do, too. But how your friends are portrayed, what people say about them, not to mention looking at your feelings concerning them in print for the world to see... it's a daunting and significant consideration in Powell's writing.
I was satisfied with this since her writing about her friends was a lot of what I liked about the book (and I thought it was painfully missing from the movie...). I connected to her concerns (as well as her friends' concerns about her experiment) and palmed my way through those sections of her book with a sense of knowing...
Being able to write about things like friendship makes you more accessible. We all have problems and worries concerning our friends. We care - it's a natural reaction. But, how much of that is appropriate for the world to see? Not everyone wants to hear how you feel in public print... not everyone wants to be as exposed, as honest, as you are...
I struggle with this, too. I have plenty of things I could write about that I leave out because I worry about how it will make my friends feel... and also because I don't want to put them in a position to be judged. If I were to relay a fight I had with one of them, or talk about something they're doing that I find destructive, other readers might draw skewed conclusions about who these people are. It's not fair to judge people based on one or even two mistakes... our mistakes are ours to make, ours to learn from, and they do not define us...
...but how often do we judge people in novels based on isolated incidents? Obviously in fiction we're often led according to how the author wants us to feel (whether they succeed or fail in presenting a character in a certain way, they are in charge of what we know). But, this is bad training for reality. As I already said, we are not the sum of our bad decisions.
I admire the way Powell managed her discussion of her friends' lives. I think she did a great job of sharing her real feelings initially while talking herself back to reality. She had the courage to say she was wrong about these assumptions... she had good reason to think what she did, but she adjusts her opinion as the evidence unfolds.
She also changed the names... and I guess that helps with the public sense of it, but, if you're the renamed character and you know it, there's still potential for hurt feelings. I change names or purposely do not include them in my own writing when I think this is possible, but, again, my friends will know who is who. Especially in my circle since most of us spend time altogether, this is tricky business whether or not I change their names. Even in my private journal, I leave names out when I need to vent. Though it is not intended for others to read, it is written down, so it's possible that someone will see it someday.
I'm looking forward to Powell's next book. I admire her for doing it... for getting this crazy idea and doing what she really wants to do. She's published, whether you like her or not, and she has a natural talent for humor and storytelling. But, more than this, I want to see this protectiveness in action. I'm curious to see how and if she's changed much about the way she tells stories about her pals.
In my case, I hope I learn some courage to share similar details without encouraging readers to lose perspective. I think it's valuable to discuss our friendships... they are among the most precious things in our world. They do comfort us, but they also teach us the most about ourselves and about the kinds of people we want to be. Sometimes, those lessons come because of our arguments, misunderstandings, or disagreements. Still, great care must be taken to share and defend these precious people...
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