Maybe you're familiar with this point in time: You can't put your finger on why you're so regularly dissatisfied. You get preoccupied easily with ridiculous thoughts. Weird things ignite rage inside you... rage that, somewhere in your brain, you know is irrational. You are constantly tired with no direct correlation to activity level. You feel like nothing is going the way it should. You can't blame anyone or anything for why you're so... so very... UGH.
Well, I think I've been sitting in that place for well over a month now. It's finally piled up on itself to the point where I know I need to sort this out. While I have some amazing, attentive friends and family members who have demonstrated their interest in helping me work through this... I feel like this is crossroads... A growing pain whose kinks I need to press out on my own.
So, I've made a reservation at a Bed and Breakfast in southwestern Virginia. People have wished me a good trip... I've been asked if I'm looking forward to it... It's a weird thing for me, really. Though I've picked a beautiful spot, I know what I'll be doing there... why I picked such a pretty place. I want to be somewhere that gives me the room to do what I need to do...
Which means I'll spend some time crying, writing, sighing, and being quiet.
I'm bringing a picture of my grandmother, Luke, my journal, and my favorite movie. I usually bring about three books and five magazines when I travel... I don't want to distract myself from combing the core of my emotions.
I think that we could all use a little time to ourselves at least once every other year or so. I'm both grateful and nervous for this experience. France was very much a sabbatical for me... though I was with people, I was outside of my regular life in a perfect position to reevaluate myself and discover the person I would become after the experience. That was nearly three years ago.
While I'm gone, my entries will still appear on this blog. I've pre-written articles for Monday through Wednesday. Just because I need to go away for a little while, it doesn't mean I'm going to fall behind on my blog project.
I'll write what I can when I get back.
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